The Problem With Canto Bight

(WARNING: THIS POST IS NECK DEEP IN SPOILER TERRITORY)

Earlier today I finally had the chance to rewatch The Last Jedi (Movie Pass rules, y'all).  I enjoyed it the second time, just as I enjoyed it the first.  To me the movie is a well-made, exciting sequel to The Force Awakens that gets a lot of things right, though not quite everything.  Not everyone agrees, though.  Personally I think The Last Jedi is so divisive because it is somehow, paradoxically, both incredibly similar yet strikingly different from the Original Trilogy and The Force Awakens.  I could say more, but this post isn't about my opinion of the movie as a whole.

One of the most common criticisms of the movie is of the story thread involving Finn and Rose going to Canto Bight in order to find a codebreaker to help them mess up the tracking device that has allowed the First Order to track the Resistance ships.  A lot of people complained that this whole story thread was "pointless" because our two heroes don't succeed in delivering the code or otherwise doing something from that ship that ultimately helps them defeat The First Order.

Simply put, those people are wrong.  However, that doesn't mean there isn't a serious problem with Canto Bight.  There is.  But we'll get to that in a moment.

The real problem, obviously, is how these intergalactic war profiteers choose to dress.

First, let's tackle the fact that Canto Bight is significant.  The movie not so subtly explains that Poe's habit of repeatedly risking everything on incredibly risky plans to save the day is wrong.  We've gotten so used to one in a million gambits succeeding in most blockbuster movies that we don't know what to think when they don't, and that's exactly what this movie is trying to get at.  Finn and Rose failing means that the trip to Canto Bight is a lesson for the characters in service of the theme of the story.

Not just a lesson for Poe, either.  The whole movie preaches the (very basic, yet very important) message that past failure is something to be learned from.  This theme is the through-line of not just the Canto Bight story thread, but the entire movie.  Luke is stuck drowning in his past failures, until he decides to learn from his past while stilling moving forward and undoing the wrongs he has caused.  Kylo Ren wants to discard the past entirely, rather than learn from it, clearly on course by the end of the movie to repeat many of the same mistakes his grandfather did while he was Darth Vader (insert that saying about those not learning from the past being doomed to repeat it).  Rey still holds onto the idea of her parents as space wizard royalty, unable to accept the idea that her past isn't linked to the stories of galactic wizards and space monarchs that she grew up on, until Kylo forces her to confront the truth.

Canto Bight therefore serves to reinforce the thematic undercurrent of the entire movie, as it serves as a failure for Poe, Finn, and Rose to learn from.

So, yeah, it's pretty silly to say that this story thread is pointless.  That doesn't mean it's without problems, however.  And I think this problem is something that a lot of people intuitively picked up on but didn't know how to articulate, hence the vague accusations of it being "pointless" when talking about it.  The main problem here is a problem of character agency.

Damn it, not (secret) agent characters.  Character agency!

For anyone unfamiliar with the term character agency, it simply means how much a character's choices and subsequent actions affect the plot.  Not in the generic, big picture summary of a character (Poe Dameron fights the First Order as a Resistance pilot) but in the minute-to-minute minutia of the story.  Let's stick with Poe Dameron as an example.  We wouldn't say he has character agency because he is a fighter pilot.  Rather, we have to track his actions scene by scene.  In the opening sequence he destroys the turrets bombing the Resistance fleet, then goes against Leia's orders to retreat and destroys a giant spaceship at the cost of all of the Resistance's bombers (as well as many, many casualties).  From there he clashes with Holdo over what to do with the fleet.  He sends off Finn and Rose to their mission, then even stages a friggin mutiny, managing to hold control of the ship until the Canto Bight mission fails and Leia reclaims control of the ship.

I could go on, but I'll stop there.  The main point is that Poe is constantly an active participant in the moment-to-moment happenings of the plot, whether or not his actions produce their intended goals.  Nothing just happens to him, he is always making choices and acting on them in ways that have consequences.  The same can be said for pretty much all the main players of The Last Jedi: Rey, Kylo Ren, Leia (when she's awake), even Luke, as his initial refusal to do anything is itself a choice that produces important consequences.  Basically, character agency is about being an active participant in the plot.  How each character participates tells us about who they are, and the effects their actions have are what (should) drive the plot forward.

The main problem with the Canto Bight story thread is that Finn and Rose don't really have character agency once they get there.

Now, everything leading up to the Canto Bight side quest absolutely does give them agency.  Finn and Rose use their special knowledge as characters to figure out the existence of the tracking beacon and what they need to do to disable it, they choose to act on that knowledge to save the Resistance, they team up with Poe (who still hasn't learned his lesson on the dangers of betting it all on a risky gambit), they go to Canto Bight.  So far so good.  They're making big choices that both reveal about who they are as characters while moving the plot forward.

And even when we get there, it's not so bad because we get some good character moments.  Finn, who lived a suffocating, contained life as a storm trooper is floored by how marvelous Canto Bight looks.  Its glamorous, opulent atmosphere captivates him, but Rose tells him to look between the lines and see what that sort of opulence is built on: war profiteering, exploitation of the poor (including child slaves), and animal cruelty.  She then goes on to say she wants to bring it on down.

Time to seize the means of (galactic star destroyer) production!

Then they get arrested when they are on the cusp of finding the codebreaker, and everything goes downhill.  But it's really, really important to realize something here: getting arrested is not the problem.  It's that they don't actively make meaningful choices for most of the rest of the movie.  Rather, they become passive participants, merely along for the ride as things just sorta happen around them.

When they get arrested, they don't do a single thing to find Benicio Del Toro's hacker character.  No interesting choices or actions that tell us about their characters or push the plot forward.  Instead they miraculously stumble upon this hacker by complete luck and he breaks them all out (without any help from the two of them). After they turn the corner, they do nothing to evade capture from the guards because, surprise, BB-8 has tied up all the guards there!  Which, aside from magically getting them out of danger in a way that doesn't offer Finn and Rose any difficult or interesting choices, makes no sense when BB-8 required saving from Rey in the first movie against literally just one junkyard scavenger when Rey first met him.  So now Finn and Rose have both found their codebreaker and escaped without doing anything noteworthy at all to accomplish either goal.  Nothing here shows us about who they are as people or contributes to everything going on around them.  It's not at all earned.

Then, when they're going through the service tunnels, the only real choice they make is... free a bunch of animals instead of child slaves.  Yikes.  At least they made a choice that pushes the plot forward, I guess?  After that they engage in a cringeworthy Prequel Trilogy-esque chase scene on those space chocobos and are almost captured... until Del Toro and BB-8 bail them out, again.  On the ship Rose does exercise agency by choosing to give her pendant to Del Toro in payment for his services, showing the audience that as a character she is willing to part with things that mean a lot to her if it means protecting those she cares about in the present.  More choices/active participation like that would've been nice.

But then, when Del Toro's character is breaking the shit out of some codes, they get caught.  Again, getting caught is not the problem.  But their subsequent escape is not a result of anything they do.  They only get out because Holdo sacrificed herself to buy time for the escaping Resistance fighters.  They they escape after Finn beats Phasma (who has been rendered pretty unthreatening to the audience after being unceremoniously thrown into the trash heap in The Force Awakens) by being lucky enough to have a rising platform catch him.

But at least Mission: Create A Character As Cool-Looking But Useless As Boba Fett was a smashing success!

So, to sum it all up, the only time Finn and Rose have any character agency between first getting captured by security on Canto Bight to rejoining the Resistance is (1)when they choose to free the space chocobos and ride them through Canto Bight (cringeworthy) and (2)when Rose gives Space Hacker her pendant (actual good character moment).  In that entire span of time, those were the only two times Finn and Rose had meaningful agency.  That's why so many came away feeling this part was pointless, even though it certainly wasn't on a thematic level, a plot level, or on a character level for Poe (and even Finn and Rose in the beginning).

The point of this post isn't to shit on the movie (which, like I said above, I very much enjoyed; I plan to write a post about an aspect I really liked tomorrow).  Rather, I wanted to look at the part most people didn't like and analyze exactly why it didn't work.  Sometimes in discussing movies, we focus on saying why something we loved was awesome or why something we hated was terrible.  There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but I think it can be helpful to also pick apart specific things we thought did or didn't work in any given movie, regardless of whatever opinion we have of it as a whole.

Thanks for reading!

Conflict in Rick and Morty

I haven't watched very much television over the last few years.  Not because I consider myself above it, but because grad school and work have kept me busy, and what little free time I have is squandered elsewhere.  Usually the internet.  The only new television shows I've given a chance over the last few years have been Arrow, which I like, The Walking Dead, which I like when the writing team actually tries, and Rick and Morty, which has blown me away with its creative world-building, humor that ranges from unrelentingly dark to unapologetically goofy, and existentialist undertones that make us question what it is to be human.  Only two seasons in, this show has already joined Futurama and The Boondocks as my favorite episodic* shows of all time.

An entire book could be written about the brilliance of Rick and Morty, but like I did with Hayao Miyazaki movies before, this post will focus specifically on conflict.  In this case we'll look at the way this show approaches conflict, and how this approach gives it tremendous opportunities for thematic exploration in a way that most other TV shows could only dream of.

"Hiiiii, I'm a creative representation of the crushing despair

that comes with being unable to fulfill one's purpose on life!  Look at me!"

Regardless of medium, conflict is usually thought of as the driving force of any story.  Most plotlines can be boiled down to a character, or characters, facing adversity and finishing somewhere on the spectrum between success and failure.  The underlying idea is that you're watching characters face challenges and respond to them in an engaging way.  Sometimes they succeed in their goals, sometimes they don't.  Sometimes their goals change.  There are tons of different ways to structure and carry out a story, but what pushes everything forward is the conflict that challenges the character(s).

Rick and Morty takes that concept in creative, thought-provoking directions.  In an unhinged sci-fi universe with aliens, alternate dimensions, and technology far beyond our own, there are plenty of chances for titular characters Rick and Morty to face serious external danger.  And they do.  The interesting thing about this show, though, is that we often don't feel like the main characters are in serious danger when Rick is around.  Usually, with his trademark IDGAF attitude, he whips out some crazy invention that takes care of their problems.  The conflict comes not from their external circumstances but from more human, internal sources when everyone is trying to deal with the way Rick "solved" the problem.

Take the above clip, a seemingly normal pre-opening credits scene that many television comedies use for quick throwaway gags.  Here we have a simple conflict: Rick wants butter, but it's across the table from him.  In a lesser sci-fi comedy scene, we might see Rick invent some sort of makeshift robot arm to reach across the table.  The humor would come from the fact that, for a super genius, creating a complex tool is preferable to simply reaching over to get some butter.

Instead, Rick creates a self-aware robot that isn't entirely sure of its purpose in life.  It passes the butter for Rick, then learns that this is the entire reason for its existence.  Looking down at its robotic arms after this revelation, it mutters "oh my God" in despair, crushed by the realization that all it will ever be is a tool to fetch butter.  Rick nonchalantly responds "welcome to the club", implying that human existence isn't much more meaningful either.

This is all done as an opening gag.  Many TV shows will never reach the thematic complexity in the entirety of their run time.

Now, of course this is only a response to an insignificant conflict, not a major conflict that drives the episode.  But this little intro serves as a perfect microcosm to what often happens in this show: a problem emerges, Rick solves it with an incredible gadget, and we're left dealing with the moral consequences of Rick's actions.  To see what I mean, let's look at one of my favorite episodes, Big Trouble in Little Sanchez.  Of course, THIS MEANS SPOILERS.

TINY SPOILERS!

The initial driving conflict of this episode is that a vampire is loose somewhere in the high school of Morty and Summer, Rick's grandkids.  Rick transfers his consciousness into the body of a younger clone of himself in order to help Morty and Summer track down said vampire.  Together, Tiny Rick and his grandkids hunt down this threat before it claims the lives of any more people.

If Rick and Morty followed a more conventional format, the entire episode would be about them trying to take out the monster while trying to keep Rick's secret, who would of course have trouble fitting in.  Instead, Rick gains the approval of the school's kids instantly.  About five minutes into the episode the group has already taken out the vampire (who is never even seen in the episode) and less than five minutes after that Morty casually mentions the secret identity of his grandpa, to zero consequence.  The usual external conflicts that would normally drive this sort of episode are completely dropped by the wayside.

So what conflict drives the story after Rick and company breeze right through these external conflicts?  Well, Tiny Rick is a teenage clone of Rick, and that clone's brain has trouble completely absorbing some of the heavier/darker thoughts.  As Summer puts it: "when you put your mind into this body's young brain, it did what young brains do: it shoved the bad thoughts into the back and put a wall around them.  But those bad thoughts are the real Rick.  The fact that you're old, the fact that we're all going to die one day, the fact that the universe is so big that nothing in it matters, those facts are who you are.  So you're trapped in there, and you can only come out in the form of Tiny Rick's teen angst!"

On second thought, nevermind, this sounds totally healthy.

As Tiny Rick pushes back the dark thoughts that permeate normal Rick's mind, Summer tries to get him back.  Morty initially tries to avoid the problem because of how many points Tiny Ricky scores for his popularity with his crush, Jessica.  Eventually he acknowledges that Rick needs help and the two of them confront Rick.  The climax of the episode comes when they make him face his buried existential angst so that he can come to his senses and return to his old body.

What makes this direction for the episode noteworthy is that it forces us as viewers to grapple with our own lives, our own existential angst and personal demons.  Not by ham-fisted monologues about how we need to confront these issues, but by Rick having a small meltdown as soon as he acknowledges he has been hiding from these questions as a teenager.  As Rick despairs over his own mortality and all the uncertainty that comes with life, we as the audience are challenged to consider these questions ourselves in a direct and poignant way.

This is what happens more often with stories that are driven by more internal conflicts: we can take a moment to examine, and even confront, certain parts of our own feelings and thoughts as we watch fictional characters do the same on screen.  This post is not to say that all conflict should be internal or asking deeply human questions about who we are, that would be just as limiting as having only external, action-oriented conflict.  There's a full range of issues we face as human beings and a full spectrum of ways to represent that in the stories we tell.  But it's nice to see a show daring to be different, structured in a way uncommon for its genre, and asking these sorts of questions that aren't often asked, due in large part to how it structures its conflict.

Thanks for reading!

*"Episodic" shows meaning shows where each episode has its own standalone plot, as compared to serial shows where every episode is following a grand, overarching plot.

Top Everything of 2016

With the dawn of each new year, various media outlets and bloggers alike do write ups and videos about the previous one.  Most will focus on a specific topic.  For me, though, a year contains far too many interesting things, and I have way too many interests, to just cover one topic.  So, like I did for 2014 and 2015, I will choose my top picks for a variety of categories for 2016.

My criteria for each pick is a combination of merit/quality, personal preference (anyone who tries to pretend their "top" lists are objective are lying to themselves), achievements in a given field, and cultural significance/impact.  I also try to make choices for world news/current events-related picks that I have a decent amount of knowledge about, that way I can have something unique to add instead of just relaying the same basic points everyone else does.  That way, if I fail hilariously at saying anything interesting, I can fail hilariously my way.

Enjoy!

MOVIE: Moonlight

Gotta go with Moonlight here.

So, uhh, I saw Moonlight way after I made this list.  I initially chose Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.  I'll keep my reasoning for Fantastic Beasts here, but yeah, Moonlight is incredible and my pick for best movie of the year, and the movie Arrival is equally fanfastic.

There were some fine movies I saw this year, from Civil War to Rogue One, that I enjoyed.  None of them blew me away or stayed with me long after I watched them, however, even if some of them made interesting or noteworthy narrative moves.  Overall, 2016 felt slim compared to 2015, or at least among the movies I've seen.  There was one exception, however.  Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them has remained with me more than any other movie I saw last year- or at least stayed with me more than any other movie from last year in a positive way.  I still have nightmares about paying money for Suicide Squad.

Unlike so many movies this year- including movies that I enjoyed, like Civil War- Fantastic Beasts offers a cast where each character has both a reason to be there and a reason for us to like them.   For instance, before seeing the film, I had heard that a character without magical abilities would be one of the four main characters.  I remember rolling my eyes and thinking the character would feel like a waste of space.   Yet this character, Jacob Kowalski, ended up being my favorite character of the movie.  He was both a relatable everyman and an aspirational figure in how well he handled everything.  I don't want to spoil anything, but the end of the movie had me on the verge of tears (no, it's not about him dying).

While I didn't connect with Newt Scamander or the other characters as much as I did with Kowalski, I did appreciate one thing about Newt's Scamander that another writer pointed out: the way Newt evades using aggression and other traits of hyper-masculinity in his pursuit of his narrative goals.  Even in his most dire moments, Newt is never using threats or force to get what he wants or try to pursue people.  Rather, he appeals to people's empathy and reason, sometimes to success and sometimes to failure.

Don't get me wrong here.  I train at an MMA gym, I love action movies, and I think violence could have theoretically been justified in a few situations in this movie.  I'm not saying I think violence is automatically bad or that it has no place in entertainment.  At the same time, almost every single adventure/fantasy/sci-fi movie in the history of cinema which has featured male protagonists has had them either deal with their problems primarily with super masculine tactics like aggression, intimidation, and violence, or had them portrayed as weak and worthy of derision for not using those tactics.  It's refreshing to see some variety here.  It's also nice to see a popular, well-regarded movie where a male character can keep his gentleness and still accomplish his goals.

COMEDY MOVIE: The Nice Guys

While there were plenty of funny movies last year- including Civil War- I could only remember one of the comedy movies I saw this year without Googling "comedy movies 2016" to come up with a list.  The Nice Guys is a buddy cop movie without cops set in the 1970s.  Directed by Shane Black, this movie stars Russel Crowe and Ryan Gosling as two private eyes who, as most protagonists in these types of movies tend to do, find themselves in way over their heads.

What works so well with this movie is the performances of Crowe and Gosling, as well as Angourie Rice, who plays Ryan Gosling's daughter with a jaded maturity similar to Chloe Grace Moretz's role in 500 Days of Summer as Joseph Gordon Levitt's younger sister.  All of them do exceptionally well, especially Ryan Gosling, who breaks his typical mold by acting like a bumbling idiot and dork instead of his usual charming cool-guy roles.  This movie alone is proof that Gosling has more range than we may think.

Aside from consistent laughs, the movie has a genuinely interesting, lively environment in its recreation of the 1970s.  The arc of the characters in this movie are serviceable enough that the regular laughs and engaging environment can keep you caring, though they are nothing special.  The only major disappointment here is that the plot is not very engaging.  It is both convoluted and also just not that interesting.  That problem aside, though, the movie is a great laugh and unapologetically unique.

ANIMATED MOVIE: Zootopia

Zootopia has a lot going for it.  It has gorgeous visuals (seriously, look at that city), a creatively imagined world, well-defined characters, metaphors about racism, and poignant emotional moments that work precisely because of everything else on this list.  Almost everything is well-executed and works wonderfully together.  The fact that Shakira shows up as a singing gazelle is just a bonus.

The only place this movie slips up is the metaphor department.  The movie does a good job of showing how the predators are stereotyped as aggressive and untrustworthy.  There is a very powerful moment where a main character even falls into the trap of unintentionally stereotyping her predator friend, and the look of betrayal on that friend's face is devastating.  The scene where they make up resonates just as well in the opposite direction.

The problem is, the metaphor doesn't make sense.  Predators are treated like an oppressed group, but they're also disproportionately in positions of power, from the city government to the police department.  So is this a case of a group in power being oppressed?  By definition, they wouldn't be oppressed if that were the case.

Still, this is a children's movie, and it offers a good chance for kids to understand discrimination and why it is bad.  The message of the movie is, predictably, that we need to love one another and live in harmony.  Even with a few slips in the details of the metaphor the movie executes its theme well, and is just plain fun to watch in the process.

ACTOR: Diego Luna

I could talk about his charming performance as Cassian in Rogue One, his surprisingly believable role as a gangster in Blood Father, or how much it means to us Latina/o folks that he keeps his accent in his movies.  Instead, I have a different idea.  Watch this video of Diego Luna talking about Jabba the Hutt and tell me he doesn't deserve this spot on the list based off of that alone.  Go ahead, I'll wait.

ACTRESS: Kate McKinnon

Boy, that controversy about the Ghostbusters reboot, right?  Woo.  What a mess.  Apparently, in an era of nonstop reboots, having a new set of Ghostbusters that have ovaries was the straw that broke the camel's back.  To the point that the stars of the movie were being harassed, particularly Leslie Jones, because if you're going to be sexist garbage you might as well be racist garbage, too.

Beyond all the controversy, what we got was a good but not great movie.  Overall I like the original a little better than this remake, but each movie has their strengths.  This version's biggest strength is undoubtedly Kate McKinnon, who steals the show as the delightfully weird Dr Jillian Holtzmann.  As Holtzmann she plays a wacky Ghostbuster who is the best inventor of the group.  She is always cooking up new gadgets, which saves the group from certain destruction more than once.  She also brings a humor, liveliness and charisma that make her my favorite Ghostbuster of all time (sorry, Bill Murray).

In addition to her stealing the show as Holtzmann, she also did a great job as Hillary Clinton on SNL this year.  It's no secret that she and her coworkers, along with most of the rest of Hollywood, are Team Democrat.  What I appreciate, though, is that in her imitation of Hillary Clinton she wasn't afraid to directly point out problems with Clinton, either.  Not just poke fun at some of her mannerisms, but also some of her more dubious policy history and campaign contributions as well.  Combined with her excellent understanding of Clinton's body language and mannerisms, her impression became a highlight of SNL during 2016.  Her Ruth Bader Ginsberg ain't bad, either.

HIP HOP ALBUM: 4 Your Eyez Only

Unlike the movie categories, hip hop album of the year was difficult for me to choose because of how many dope albums came out.  In the end I was stuck between the newest efforts from Run the Jewels, J Cole, and Common.  I didn't feel right choosing Common because his 2016 effort didn't feel even the slightest bit close to the best work he's ever put out, and I didn't feel right choosing Run the Jewels since I chose them for album of the year in 2015 and I don't like choosing the same thing for consecutive years.  That left J Cole's 4 Your Eyez Only.

Something funny about this album is that it is technically a concept album, which means it should be further from the reality of Cole than the average album is for the average MC.  4 Your Eyez Only it is from the perspective of a fictional former hustler from the hood who is recording the album for his daughter.  It is quite clear, though, that J Cole put quite a lot of himself into the character.  Because the album pretends to be about someone else, however, Cole is paradoxically more personal, honest, and vulnerable on this album than the overwhelmingly majority of MCs choose to be on theirs.  I haven't heard a record this honest and vulnerable, as well as genuinely introspective, since I heard Varsity Blues from MURS.

One of the recurring themes of this album is death.  An awareness of it, an acknowledgement of its ever-present reality, a fear of it, a desire to symbolically overcome it through some sort of legacy.  This album can be seen as the hip hop equivalent of Ingmar Bergman's The Seventh Seal or Atlus's video game Persona 3.  While Max Von Sydow's knight finds meaning in the face of death by saving a family with a baby boy and Makato finds meaning in death by sacrificing himself to save the world, J Cole's protagonist finds meaning through his daughter.

This presence of death isn't hard to miss with an intro track titled "For Whom The Bell Tolls," invoking John Donne's wonderful poem Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, which is where the phrase used by everyone from Hemingway to Metallica to, now, J Cole comes from.  The poem focuses on how every individual death diminishes humanity.  As Donne puts it: "any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."  This album takes that theme and runs with it, reflecting on the tragedy that happens when so many people are disenfranchised and made more familiar with death than anyone should be.  Titles for other tracks like "Everybody Dies" and "Immortal" reinforce this theme, and that's to say nothing of the lyrics.  J Cole may have invented a new sub-genre with this album: hood existentialism.

One track has received a lot of flack for being about "laundry" of all things.  Yes, the track is called "Foldin' Clothes" and that is indeed what it's about on the surface.  But that's like saying Citizen Kane is about a sled or that The Great Gatsby is about parties in mansions.  The chorus explicitly says that he wants to do it to help out the mother of his child by taking care of chores, and the song contains the lyrics "listen, this is a meditation for me/a practice in being present, there's nowhere I need to be/except right here with you/except right here with you, folding clothes."  Now, these lyrics are admittedly corny and not especially complex, something which can be said about most of this album and prevents it from reaching classic status in my eyes.  But its thematic coherence, its well-crafted mood, and its ability to make you think about its subject matter make it my favorite album of the year.

HIP HOP SONG: Nobody Speak

I mean, right?

MMA PROSPECT: Érik "Goyito" Pérez

Full disclosure: I actually occasionally train with Goyito at San Diego Combat Academy/10th Planet San Diego.  We're not his primary gym, and I've only ever rolled with him once (he crushed me), but he is still someone I've trained with and I want to get that out of the way.

That said, I don't think many people will disagree with me putting him here. Goyito has been in the UFC for a couple years and he seems to now be finding his rhythm.  In 2016 he beat both Francisco Rivera and Felipe Arantes in fights where he showed not only promise, but also flair (that luchador mask tho) and a sense of excitement that makes his rise all the more exciting to watch.

Goyito has a frenetic pace, agile footwork, and good feints.  He is primarily a puncher, but he's good at mixing in a number of other MMA tools as well, particularly an impressively strong inside leg kick, solid single leg takedowns, and the occasional intercepting knee.  He also isn't afraid to use the occasional unconventional kick or jiujitsu transition, either.

He can tend to neglect to use head movement or other defensive maneuvers after landing a combination, as well as get into wild swinging exchanges where strategy is thrown out the window.  Still, he is young (only about a month and a half older than me), and he can either learn to fix those gaps or incorporate them into his gameplan moving forward.  It'll be exciting to see what he does in 2017.

MMA FIGHTER I'D LIKE TO SEE BOUNCE BACK: Cain Velasquez

Unfortunately I do not train with Cain Velasquez.  After winning the heavyweight championship from Australopithecus Lesnar-ensus and having an epic trilogy with the then-consensus number two heavyweight in the world, Junior Dos Santos, Velasquez has had a bumpy road.  He came back from an almost two year injury-induced layoff to face Fabricio Werdum in June of 2015 and lost the title to him.  In July of last year, over a year removed from his loss to Werdum thanks to yet more injuries, Cain fought Travis Browne and looked like the Cain Velasquez of old.

Velasquez was due to face Fabricio Werdum in a rematch a couple months after the Browne fight, but that ended up not happening.  I'll give you one guess as to why.

A healthy, functioning Cain Velasquez is a marvel to behold.  He has more cardio than anyone else in the heavyweight division, he strategically mixes up his striking with his wrestling perfectly, he has way better striking technique than most other wrestling-based MMA fighters, his ability to close distance is insane, and I'm pretty sure what he can do to his opponent when he pins them against a cage should be banned by the UN Council on Human Rights.  Cain Velasquez is, so far, the only heavyweight who could seriously challenge Fedor Emelianenko's claim to the title of Most Skilled Heavyweight Ever.

Because of his constant injuries, though, Velasquez hasn't built a record to challenge Fedor's.  He has beat some truly elite heavyweights, but his career has been far too inconsistent.  If he avoids injury in 2017, and is able to beat Werdum then win the title from Stipe Miocic, his record will further match his potential.  But really, win or lose, I'd just be happy to see a heavyweight division with an active Cain Velasquez.

MALE MMA FIGHTER: Stipe Miocic

This spot was between two contenders: Stipe and Conor McGregor. Honestly, it probably should go to McGregor because he became the champion of the lightweight division on top of the featherweight division, but like with Run the Jewels above, I don't like making the same pick two years in a row.  Also, while Conor McGregor did indeed defeat Jose Aldo last year, he has not defended the featherweight belt since and has implied he has no plans to do so, hence being stripped of it recently.  At this point he's basically just the lightweight champion.

Enough about McGregor, though.  Stipe Miocic had an excellent year.  He fought three times in 2016, which is impressive for a heavyweight, capturing either Fight of the Night or Performance of the night in all three of his matches, which is impressive for any weight.  After dispatching of the always dangerous Mark Hunt in 2015, Miocic's first fight in 2016 was against Andrei Arlovski, who was on a six fight win streak with wins over the likes of Bigfoot Silva, Frank Mir, and Travis Browne.  Arlovski looked to be on the verge of a title shot himself, but Miocic put a stop to that with his deity-like fists.  After knocking out Arlovski, Miocic fought for the title and knocked out Werdum after he rushed Miocic without any thought to his defense.

Many heavyweight champions lose their belt in their first title defense.  Not Miocic.  He defended his belt against Alistair Overeem, who is more minotaur than man.  To quote internet writer Seanbaby, Overeem "looks like someone at Marvel comics drew a man genetically engineered to fuck your girlfriend."  As someone who is also a world class kickboxer in addition to being a world class MMA fighter, he fights like that as well.  Yet thanks to careful planning and excellent boxing from Miocic, he was able to overcome trouble in the beginning and knockout Overeem to defend his title.

Miocic is an exciting fighter with good hands, a strong chin, and top level conditioning for a heavyweight.  It'll be a pleasure to see him continue to fight into 2017, hopefully against the winner of Fabricio Werdum and Cain Velasquez if that rematch can happen soon.  Junior Dos Santos, Alistair Overeem, Mark Hunt, and others can't be counted out, either.  The heavyweight division is perhaps at its most exciting since the days of Pride, and I can't wait to see what unfolds.

FEMALE MMA FIGHTER: Joanna Jędrzejczyk

Beating Joanna Jędrzejczyk in a fight is like trying to pronounce her last name: very few people in the world, if any, can do it.  Joanna came to MMA as a six time world champion and four time European champion in Muay Thai, with an overall record of twenty seven wins and two losses.  She's as skilled in the art of the eight limbs as the United States CIA is skilled in the art of overthrowing democracies to install dictatorships.

Some of Joanna's best moves are a left jab-right cross-right kick combo, leg kicks in general, and a badass clinch game.  She also has outstanding cardio and evasive skills, able to make sure she is just out of range for her opponent's attacks.  Her only seeming flaw is that she sometimes backs straight up when attacked instead of circling out, but considering she likes to set up her devastating clinch when her back is to the fence, her backing up hasn't cost her much trouble so far.

She defended her belt twice in 2016, looking like a Muay Thai textbook while doing so.  She had some moments of looking mortal against wrestler Claudia Gadelha and fellow Muay Thai fighter Karolina Kowalkiewicz, having to deal with the former's takedowns and the latter's excellent jabs, crosses, and kicks, but she still won each fight handily.  In the end, Jędrzejczyk emerged largely unscathed and continued to cement her status as one of the top MMA strikers in the world.

A quick shout out is also due here for Amanda Nunes, whom I almost gave this spot to.  After beating Valentina Shevchenko (who would later go on to beat last year's pick for female fighter of the year, Holy Holm, proving she is no joke herself), Nunes fought Meisha Tate for the women's bantamweight championship.  She threw a combo that looked like something from a Dragon Ball Z episode and got a rear naked choke after following Tate to the ground.  When Ronda Rousey came back and got an immediate title shot, the UFC promoters seemed to forget Nunes existed and only promoted Rousey.  Nunes didn't seem to have any fucks to give about the UFC's plans, though.  She dispatched Rousey easily.

The fact that Amanda Nunes, with such an impressive 2016, didn't get fighter of the year shows how fantastic women's MMA is getting.  They still have some catching up to the men's divisions when it comes to popularity, but when it comes to excitement, they're doing just fine.

MMA FIGHT: Robbie Lawler vs Carlos Condit

There were a lot of great fights in 2016, but for me, the best match happened on only the 2nd day of the year.  Due to a series of injuries for other contenders, Carlos Condit was supposed to fight Robbie Lawler for the title in late 2015, but due to a thumb injury for Lawler it was pushed to UFC 195.  With twenty one of Robbie Lawler's total twenty seven career victories coming by knockout or submission, and twenty eight of Condit's thirty wins also coming by way of finish, this was set to be a hell of a fight.

The thing about fights that sound exciting in theory is that they can be disappointingly boring when they happen for realz.  This was not one of those fights.  Robbie Lawler's high level MMA boxing and Carlos Condit's high level MMA kickboxing clashed wonderfully.  Lawler used his excellent gauging of distance, headwork, jab, and counter punches while Condit used awkward but effective movement, all eight of the Muay Thai weapons, and elusive footwork.  The results was one of my favorite fights of all time.

What's great about this fight is that it was a fight that could satisfy both casual fans and educated fans alike.  Brawls like Brian Stann vs Wanderlei Silva (or really any Wanderlei fight) and Dan Henderson vs Shogun Rua are exciting to watch in a primal, high-octane way.  I love those sorts of fights.  I also love watching strategy and high level technique play out too, though.  Sometimes those things play out in a way that isn't accessible to the casual fan, but not here.  Condit and Lawler used moves from their toolboxes in a way that could satisfy fans of all levels of MMA understanding.

The fight was close, as many truly great fights are.  Most people agree Condit won rounds one and four while Lawler won rounds two and five.  The only controversial round was round three, where Carlos Condit landed more significant strikes but Lawler seemed to more damage with his.  The fight ended up going to Lawler in a controversial split decision, despite the fact that many scored it for Condit.  I personally scored it for Condit myself.  Despite my own disagreement with the decision, however, the fight was close, and really either fighter could have been given the decision.

In the end, though, everyone won.  Condit and Lawler both gave fantastic performances worth being proud of, which gave them Fight of the Night honors and a nice bonus by the UFC.  Fans got an all-time great fight.  The media got something controversial to cover.  What more could any of us ask for?

SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY: GK-PID

Multicellular life isn't a topic we explicitly think about often.  Sure, sometimes we'll pay mind to the fact we are basically self-aware apes and that life as we know it is a pretty kewl thing we can take for granted, but it's easy to take not only our existence but the existence of every plant and animal on Earth for granted as well.  It can be easy to think that the way things are was always our destiny, that evolution has always been marching us toward this inevitable course of the birth of humanity.

Really, though, it was dumb luck.

Like my pick for fight of the year, my pick for scientific discovery of the year came along only shortly after the beginning of 2016.  On January 7th, a professor of ecology and evolution named Joe Thorton published a study showing how multicellular life came to be through the "protein scaffold" known as guanylate kinase protein interaction domain (GK-PID).  I'm not gonna pretend I know what that means, but the condensed, simple version is that a genetic mutation a billion years ago caused the GK-PID to develop in a way that allowed for the development of organisms with more than one cell.  Because of the better genetic diversity, multicellular organisms were able to do well in natural selection and continue existing and branching out.  A billion years later, through an incredibly slow and erratic and luck-based process, here we are.

I have no idea what the practical implications of this study are, or if there even are any.  It's incredible, however, to know that we can trace there very development of complex life itself through advanced scientific methods.  It's further testament to what we can do as a species when we decide to think scientifically and work together and build knowledge that later generations will build on top of.  If we can figure out where life as we know it came from, what else can we do?

SCIENTIFIC ACHIEVEMENT: Science Helps Quadriplegic Man Play Guitar Hero

Welp, apparently this is what else we can do.  This is so cool.  Who would have guessed that when we're not busy enforcing violence and inequality on each other we're capable of such incredible and life-giving feats?


BULLSHIT NEWS STORY: Lottery Winner Shitting on Boss's Desk

Usually for this category I choose a bullshit news story that tells us something concerning about the way we view the world, but not this time.  When I first saw the story about a lottery winner repaying her shitty boss with a literal shit on his desk, I felt a sort of vicarious euphoria that anyone else who has ever worked under a terrible boss or manager instantly understands.  The article spread across the internet like wildfire.  If what I saw from friends and loved ones who reposted was any indication, I imagine most people watching around the world had a feeling similar to mine.

Unfortunately, the story was fake.  The vicarious delight and instant sympathy we felt with the woman was a lie.

Or was it?  Despite the falseness of the news story, it did create an immediate solidarity with the woman and those who shared this article, which is very, very rare to see happen so unanimously on the internet.  When denizens of the internet send non-stop hate mail to Youtubers who have slightly different movie or video game tastes than them, or harass journalists who don't see eye to eye with them, it's fascinating to see so many corners of the internet so united.

It's a nice reminder that, at the end of the day, we are all human beings and we do have common experiences that can give us empathy for people in similar situations.  And is there anything more relatable than working under a shitty boss?  The effect of this video on me was quite strong, and I haven't worked for a shitty boss for almost six years.  It's an almost universal experience for anyone who has ever had to work any job in the history of ever.  So thank you, viral video, for bringing us together for a moment, even if your story turned out to be as full of shit as this imaginary boss's desk. 

ACTUAL NEWS STORY: Trump's Election

So, uhh, holy shit, right?  At the beginning of this year it didn't even seem likely Trump would win the primaries and become the Republican candidate, let alone win the election.  Like always, there were people afterward who said they "knew" exactly how things would play out all along.  Let's allow a moment for a collective eye roll toward those types of people.

Regardless of who did or did not know how everything would shake out, Donald Trump won the presidential election.  Of course, every one and their mother had an analysis of Trump's victory.  Was it because Americans wanted to symbolically throw a brick through the window, voting for Trump as a way to give the finger to Washington even if they didn't care for Trump as a person?  Was it sexism and/or racism?  Was it the culmination of the urban vs rural divide in the US?  Was it the result of a broken election system?  Was it because of low voter turnout?  Was it because Clinton couldn't capture working class whites?  Was it the beginning of the decay of late stage capitalism?  Chances are, if you ask ten different people why Trump won you'll get ten different answers.

The thing about each of those answers is that you can find ample evidence to support or challenge any of them.  That's because of one simple truth: there is no one simple answer.  Politics is an extraordinarily complicated process, and one overarching narrative could never explain why all hundred and twenty nine million people voted in this election, with just under sixty three million voting for Trump (compared to almost sixty six million for Clinton).  Now we have as a president a man who bragged about sexually assaulting women, who proposed a ban on Muslims entering the United States, who called Mexican immigrants rapists, and who wants to re-enter the nuclear arms race.  It's gonna be a tough four years.

There is a silver lining, however.  Because of how openly bigoted Trump has been in his campaigning, people are mobilizing in ways they never did under Obama.  This is despite Obama being responsible for numerous deaths of innocent civilians in the Middle East with our War on Terror; leaving behind US military conflict in seven countries (Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Syria, Yemen, Libya, and Somalia for those keeping track at home); deporting a record number of undocumented immigrants from the US (yes, more than Bush); expanding the surveillance state; and more.  Because he is much more inclusive and diplomatic in his rhetoric, however, Obama did not get nearly the same pushback Trump is already getting.  Clinton's administration would have been a continuation of these types of policies, which would probably have also gone unchallenged.

Right after Trump's election many took to the streets, and it looks like the same thing will be happening in two days for his inauguration.  People are getting active and mobilizing in a way this country hasn't seen in a long time.  If we are able to properly channel this discontent and challenge those in power, Republican or Democrat, we will not only be okay but possibly even manage advances in economic, human, and environmental rights.  The future is in our hands.

MEME OF THE YEAR: Arthur's Fist Meme

What is it about a meme that makes it good?  I'm no expert, but I'd say versatility is one of the most important traits.  The Arthur Fist Meme fits that criterion excellently.  It was great not only seeing how many relatable memes could be churned out with this template, as well as hilariously specific ones, but also seeing the creative ways some people subverted the meme, such as the one above that flips the image so that it appears to be Arthur's left hand instead of his right.

That's what's great about memes.  Say what you will about some particular ones, but overall they give us another medium for experimenting with different, creative forms of humor and social commentary with things as simple as a picture with words.  In the same way that most stories have common templates and are made special by their details, so too are memes.  May our days forever be as dank as our memes.

VIDEO OF THE YEAR: Think and Feel Like an Editor

If you've ever wanted to know more about the technical aspects of film making without taking a film class, you owe it to yourself to watch the Every Frame a Painting channel on Youtube.  The above video is about editing, which is what the creator of the series Tony Zhou does for a living.  It's a fantastic video about an aspect of film making we don't usually think about: how editors decide how to take footage and edit it together into a coherent movie.  It's eye-opening.

Most of Zhou's videos involve him choosing a director or actor and focusing on a specific thing that the director or actor does well.  Other favorite videos of mine are his videos about Akira Kurosawa and movement, Jackie Chan and action comedy, Michael Bay and "Bayhem", and Martin Scorcese and silence.  Check them out for a quality film education that doesn't cost a dime.  Especially if you have dreams of working in film yourself.

PHOTO OF THE YEAR: Muhammad Ali's Funeral

There has never been a celebrity death that hit me as hard as Muhammad Ali's.  Not even close.  Muhammad Ali was many things to many people, and that's what was so wonderful about him.  A lot of people will spend their entire lives pursuing greatness in one aspect of life, and a few will even achieve it thanks to incredible amounts of hard work and good fortune.  Ali, however, managed to achieve greatness in multiple ways.  Very, very few people are able to pull that off.

Of course, Ali's biggest legacy is in boxing.  Now, while many people call him The Greatest for his achievements in the ring, there are others who say he was a good boxer but not quite the best.  Joe Louis, Sugar Ray Robinson, Henry Armstrong, even Ali's former opponent and coach, "The Old Mongoose" himself, Archie Moore.  Now, whether or not Muhammad Ali is as good as those men can be debated until the heat death of the universe, but he still reigned as heavyweight champion for an incredible amount of time and has names like Floyd Patterson, Sonny Liston, George Foreman, and Joe Frazier on his list of wins.  It's indisputable that he was one of the greatest boxers of all time.

His record could have been ever better if he hadn't been stripped of his title in 1967, which brings us to another way in which he was great.  When Ali was drafted to fight in the Vietnam War he could have agreed, gone over, half assed his service with a bunch of photo opps, and come back.  Instead, he refused to fight for the US.  He made no bones about why, either.  As he said when talking about his refusal to go:

“Why should they ask me to put on a uniform and go 10,000 miles from home and drop bombs and bullets on Brown people in Vietnam while so-called Negro people in Louisville are treated like dogs and denied simple human rights? No I’m not going 10,000 miles from home to help murder and burn another poor nation simply to continue the domination of white slave masters of the darker people the world over. (...)  If I thought the war was going to bring freedom and equality to 22 million of my people they wouldn’t have to draft me, I’d join tomorrow. I have nothing to lose by standing up for my beliefs. So I’ll go to jail, so what? We’ve been in jail for 400 years."

Ali was a fighter both inside and outside the ring, and when he fought outside the ring, it was for justice.  He would continue to be a figure for that same spirit of justice, peace, and love throughout his life.  He supported the Palestinian people, marched in support of Native American rights, talked a suicidal man out of jumping to his death, negotiated the release of US hostages in Iraq, worked as UN Messenger of Peace in Afghanistan in 2002, and more.  THAT is what made Muhammad Ali "The Greatest" in my eyes.  If it only came down to boxing, my choice would be Pernell "Sweet Pea" Whitaker.  But Ali was more than just a boxer.  Much more.

The world is sadder for his passing, but was lucky to have a man like him while it did.  Rest In Power, Champ.

BADASS OF THE YEAR: Standing Rock Water Protectors

I'm sure I don't need to tell you about the Native American resistance against the North Dakota Access Pipeline.  What's impressive about this story, though, is that mainstream media absolutely did not cover it until it got such a big focus on it through social media that they essentially had no choice but to finally do so.  When they did, very little contextual background was given in their coverage of the conflict, which often made the protestors look like the aggressors (but what's new, right?).

Still the water protectors stood against the police that were protecting the big oil companies.  Even when winter weather came upon the camp and temperatures became freezing, they stood.  Even when police used water cannons in those freezing temperatures.  Public support swelled.  Indigenous people and allies from around the world offered symbolic, financial, material, and people support.  Of course, Obama and others in power did nothing at first.  Eventually, however, Obama temporarily halted the construction of the pipeline.  Later, the Army Corp of Engineers finally decided on December 4th not to grant permits to build the oil pipeline.

Now, the battle still isn't over.  Many water protectors remained after December 4th, suspicious of the oil company, and it looks like conflict has indeed resurfaced.  There's still more work to be done.

Still, the water protectors at Standing Rock have won in a lot of big ways.  First and foremost, they've united against private industry and the state that protects it, preventing them from harming the land.  They've mobilized a global network of Indigenous and environment rights advocates.  They seized media attention by sheer force of grassroots action and support.  They've shown us that, in an era where cynicism is easy to give into, daring to fight and win for peoples' rights is still possible.  Not just possible, either, but necessary.

That's what will get us through the years of Trump.  That's what got us through the years of Obama.  The years of Bush, Clinton, Bush Sr, Reagan.  No matter what politician comes into office, we have people power.  That's what matters most.